{"title":"Clovenhoof","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSatan has been fired—and sent to live in suburban Birmingham.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchor\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"\"\u003eFollow Jeremy Clovenhoof and friends through these irreverent comedies about celestial bureaucracy, human absurdity and the Devil doing exactly as he pleases.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"clovenhoof-book-1-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Clovenhoof - Book 1 of the Clovenhoof series - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eThe Devil has been fired.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eOnce the Prince of Hell, Lucifer now finds himself banished to mortal England, trying (and failing) to blend in as \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-italic\"\u003eJeremy Clovenhoof\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e - an unemployed immortal with a terrible haircut and a worsening attitude problem.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHell, it turns out, has gone corporate.\u003cbr\u003eThe board didn’t like the numbers.\u003cbr\u003eThey wanted a change in leadership.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow Clovenhoof is stuck in English suburbia, dealing with nosy neighbours, an underwhelming heavy metal band, and the archangel Michael, who keeps turning up to make sure he’s not enjoying himself too much.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-italic\"\u003eClovenhoof\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is a warm-hearted comedy fantasy about bad ideas, familiar frustrations, and what happens when absolute power is replaced by everyday inconvenience.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eThis is Book 1 in the Clovenhoof series\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e - a comfort-read comedy with a recurring cast, escalating chaos, and plenty more misadventures to come.\u003cbr\u003eStart here\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65652392100189,"sku":"9780993314902","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Clovenhoofebook.jpg?v=1787376728"},{"product_id":"pigeonwings-book-2-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Pigeonwings - Book 2 of the Clovenhoof series - Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAs punishment for his part in an attempted coup in Heaven, the Archangel Michael is banished to Earth. The holiest of the angelic host has to learn to live as a mortal, not an easy job when you’ve got Satan as a next-door neighbour. Michael soon finds that being a good person involves more than helping out at Sunday school and attending church coffee mornings. He has to find his purpose in life, deal with earthly temptations and solve a mystery involving some unusual monks and a jar of very dangerous jam. Heide Goody and Iain Grant have written a wild comedy that features spear-wielding cub scouts, accidental transvestites, King Arthur, a super-intelligent sheepdog, hallucinogenic snacks, evil peacocks, old ladies with biscuits, naked paintball, stolen tractors, clairvoyant computers, the Women’s Institute, and way too much alcohol.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65652487979357,"sku":"9780957175488","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Pigeonwingsebook.jpg?v=1787378011"},{"product_id":"godsquad-book-3-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Godsquad - Book 3 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Team: Joan of Arc, the armour-plated teen saint of Orleans. Francis of Assisi, friend to all the animals whether they like it or not. St Christopher, the patron saint of travel who by papal decree has never existed – no matter how much he argues otherwise. The Mission: An impossible prayer has been received by Heaven and it’s a prayer that only Mary, Mother of God, can answer. Unfortunately, Mary hasn’t been seen in decades and is off wandering the Earth somewhere. This elite team of Heavenly saints are sent down to Earth to find Mary before Armageddon is unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Godsquad: A breathless comedy road trip from Heaven to France and all points in-between featuring murderous butchers, a coachload of Welsh women, flying portaloos, nuclear missiles, giant rubber dragons, an army of dogs, a very rude balloon and way too much French wine.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65652822507869,"sku":"9780993060724","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Godsquadebook.jpg?v=1787380922"},{"product_id":"hellzapoppin-book-4-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Hellzapoppin' - Book 4 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLife at St Cadfan’s is never dull. There’s the cellar full of unexplained corpses. There’s the struggle to find food when the island is placed under quarantine. And there’s that peculiar staircase in the cellar… Being a demon in Hell has its own problems. There’s the increasingly impossible torture quotas to meet. There’s the entire horde of Hell waiting for you to slip up and make a mistake. And there’s that weird staircase in the service tunnels… Brother Stephen of St Cadfan’s and Rutpsud of the Sixth Circle, natural enemies and the most unnatural of friends, join forces to solve a murder mystery, save a rare species from extinction and stop Hell itself exploding. The fourth novel in the Clovenhoof series, Hellzapoppin’ is an astonishing comedy featuring suicidal sea birds, deadly plagues, exploding barbecues, dancing rats, magical wardrobes, King Arthur’s American descendants, mole-hunting monks, demonic possession and way too much seaweed beer.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65652859371869,"sku":"9780993314988","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Hellzapoppinebook.jpg?v=1787381092"},{"product_id":"beelzebelle-book-5-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Beelzebelle - Book 5 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTo the devil a daughter! Parenthood can come as a shock to some. It’s especially shocking if you are Satan, the Prince of Hell, and are trying to live a quiet life of semi-retirement in suburban England under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof. Clovenhoof quickly finds that being a single parent involves more than lullabies and nappies and has to contend with social disapproval, paternity tests and, possibly, the end of the world. The fifth novel in the Clovenhoof series, Beelzebelle is an anarchic adventure, featuring a psychotic monkey au pair, runaway coffins, badly stuffed animals, strip dominoes, fire-breathing ferrets, pimped-up prams, well-meaning middle-class mums, apocalyptic floods, the largest act of public nudity Birmingham has ever seen and way too much homebrew Lambrini.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65653020852573,"sku":"9780993365508","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Beelzebelleebook.jpg?v=1787382800"},{"product_id":"hooflandia-book-6-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Hooflandia - Book 6 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen Jeremy Clovenhoof decides to set himself up as President for Life of his own breakaway country, he knows he’ll need money, lots and lots of money. That might be a bit difficult, particularly since the Inland Revenue have just presented him with an enormous tax bill and Heaven and Hell have sent Joan of Arc and Rutspud of the Sixth Circle to bring him under control. But nothing can keep this devil down. He’s got the business acumen and the spunk to make a fortune and found the independent nation state of Hooflandia. Come see the really big wall! Enjoy the nudist beach! Visit the combined log flume and waterboarding torture centre! The seventh book in the Clovenhoof series, Hooflandia, is a ridiculous romp, featuring ventriloquist dummies, cut-price funerals, sexy archbishops, robot cars, musical butt plugs, tax avoidance and a million angry nuns.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65653073314141,"sku":"9780995749788","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Hooflandiaebook.jpg?v=1787382947"},{"product_id":"holymoly-book-7-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Holymoly - Book 7 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStephen and his friends spent their teenage years immersed in the fantasy gaming worlds of wizards and warriors, undertaking quests to fight evil occultists, vanquish terrible monsters and rescue damsels in distress. Now, twenty-something years later, there is a real-life quest. Life as a monk has hardly prepared Brother Stephen for the mission ahead. Demon Rutspud is definitely not a damsel, but he is in distress. The evil occultists are real and if Stephen doesn’t rescue Rutspud from a fate worse than death, no one will… Sword-wielding Satanists, stir crazy demons, super-smart squirrels, magical garbage and a suitcase that cannot be stopped run riot in a story about the bonds of friendship and dark deeds in suburban cellars.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65653129085277,"sku":"9780995749795","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Holymolyebook.jpg?v=1787383149"},{"product_id":"alpacalypse-book-8-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Alpacalypse - Book 8 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eAll good things must come to an end.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eWhen Jeremy Clovenhoof is called up to serve his final role in the Apocalypse, he’s more than a little annoyed. He enjoys his quiet sinful life in suburban England and has some 2-for-1 vouchers for the local kebab shop he hasn’t spent yet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eWhile Clovenhoof is whisked away to the afterlife to become an unwilling general in Hell’s final battle with Heaven, his former housemate Nerys decides that she is not going to sit around and let the End of Days just happen to her. If this sad and sinful world needs to be transformed then she’s going to do it herself and avoid any need for angels and demons to get involved.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eThe eighth book in the Clovenhoof series is a joyful comedy featuring imaginary dogs, kinky cleaners, devious devils, squabbling angels and the most incompetent Armageddon ever conceived.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65653168898397,"sku":"9798377886662","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Alpacalypseebookcover.jpg?v=1787383262"},{"product_id":"hankypanky-book-9-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Hankypanky - Book 9 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThere’s life in the old dog yet…\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhen Jeremy Clovenhoof realises that he’s become too fond of his creature comforts, he signs on as a roadie for a Danish heavy metal band and goes on tour.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eA whirlwind adventure of sex, drugs and rock and roll awaits this horny devil. However, things take a turn for the ridiculous when they pick up a band of Morris dancers on their way to a grudge match competition in the North of England. Will the world ever be ready for the unholy fusion of rock music and folk dancing, especially when it’s Clovenhoof centre stage?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe ninth book in the Clovenhoof series is a madcap romp featuring talking dogs, disco-dancing angels, naughty vintage books, flamethrower guitars and a conga dance into the gates of Hell.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePraise for the Clovenhoof series:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Clever and utterly hilarious!”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Sharp, witty and intelligent. Easily one of the funniest books I've ever read.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“You can't help but become immersed in the ridiculous plot and fabulous characters.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“Full of dark humour, satire and surprising twists, I embarrassed myself more than once by laughing out loud at this book in the most inappropriate places.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65653198651741,"sku":"9798321892169","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Hankypanky3.jpg?v=1787383419"},{"product_id":"babelicious-book-10-of-the-clovenhoof-series-paperback","title":"Babelicious - Book 10 of the Clovenhoof series – Paperback","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eThe problem with having human friends is that they never last…\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhen his friend, Ben, is attacked and left for dead, Jeremy Clovenhoof realises that his friends are squishy, mortal and – shockingly! – getting old.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut this earth-loving devil isn’t going to let the grim reaper take away those few people who have learned to put up with him. Whether they like it or not, he’s going to subject his friends to an exercise, diet and health regime that will keep them young – even if it kills them!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut when a magic ritual is unearthed that can bestow youth on anyone, Clovenhoof finds himself in a battle to make sure this power doesn’t fall into the wrong hands (i.e. any hands except his!)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eBabelicious is a riotous romp featuring very precocious babies, badly written sex scenes, age-reversing cosmetics and one very unfortunate Peugeot.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":65653247148381,"sku":"9781068241840","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0941\/7005\/5005\/files\/Babelicious_ebookFINAL.jpg?v=1787383519"}],"url":"https:\/\/goodyandgrant.com\/collections\/clovenhoof-books.oembed","provider":"Heide Goody and Iain Grant","version":"1.0","type":"link"}